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[19 Nov 2007|07:10pm] |
i'm sick of being single.
seriously.
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[12 Nov 2007|11:14am] |
I really try to be nice to everyone.
If I'm ever mean to somebody ...well, it's hard. I hate being mean to people.
And that's only if they don't get the point or something, and nobody else will say something.
(That's a complete generalization)
But idk.. I just don't understand how I always feel like nobody really cares..
and I HATE if there is always another girl around me, who's the one with all the attention? The other girl? Oh.. yeah.
But, what the fuck, I don't look like shit, I'm nice, I likeeeee to think I'm funny (I crack myself up at least lol), I'm smart, I know how to have a good time.
And what the hell is wrong with all that?
I mean, there are alot of people in Danbury (or even Kansas ;]) that I know do care,
but okay, maybeeeeee one? in Waterbury, excluding family.
idk, I am just so sick of feeling like shit.
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[06 Nov 2007|10:24pm] |
Ummmmm got a job at Dunkin Donuts in September.
I really love it there, actually.
Saving up for a car... still. Probably one by winter.
I got my braces off todayyyyyyyyyy!!!! :D
No boy news, really.
Except for the fact that I really want one.
I want to be in a relationship, but everytime someone wants to get close to me, I kinda freak out. I don't really give anybody a chance, unless they're a disaster waiting to happen.
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[23 Sep 2007|11:28am] |
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mood |
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 angry |
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I'm so mad and upset and just mad negative shit right now. It sucks.
I would have given you anything, and I do anything for you already.
But I guess there's something so horrible about me that's not good enough for you.
I mean, you're attracted to me, so clearly, that's a problem.
You have a lot of fun with me, so obviously, I deserve this.
You have said, more than once, that you have feelings for me.
So I guess I brought this all on myself.
I can't take it anymore.
I hope Karma works her magic, and is a real big bitch this time.
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[19 Sep 2007|11:23pm] |
"I can really see myself with you"
What's the point in lying to me?
I really hate boys.. I just hate that.. ughhhhh I don't even know where to begin.
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[06 Sep 2007|08:41pm] |
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I wish you were drunk all of the time.
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[01 Sep 2007|08:19pm] |
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There are times when I really want to be in a relationship. Then there are times when I think I would just get annoyed by it all. Agh, whaaaat doooo I waaaaantttttt. I also have no idea what I want to do for colleges...
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[04 Jul 2007|01:18am] |
Man, oh man.
There's always so many thoughts going on in my mind. I've worked alot on my insecurities lately. I used to really believe that nobody liked me and everytime I spoke people would just fill up with disgust. Yeah, I know. But then, I thought two things because of that. One: It's probably me just being an idiot. Or two: Why should I really care? Even if it was somebody I really cared for.. then that would suck. But, I doubt people that I care for, who I chill with all the time would believe that completely. Who knows, it just feels nice to not be so paranoid.
Anyways. Other thoughts.. Man, my other thoughts. Girls are cursed with thinking way too fucking much. I just want to sit back and daydream right now and let all of my fantasies and wishes form. It's such a peaceful feeling, haha. I just hate daydreaming of something that is so close, and yet so far. If only you knew, right?
Now for the juicy stuff. I finally have a crush/more than a crush on a boy. Everytime I look at another boy he's pretty much all I see anyways. It's kind of pathetic. Especially because I doubt he'd look at another girl and think that about me. There I go with my insecurities again. But at least I'm not cocky I suppose. But nevertheless, I'm happy. He makes me happy. It's complicated for some reasons I deem to be unnecessary. But either way, I'm happy..
Oh hey. It's 1 AM. Happy 4th of July. Working 9-6 today. Should be fun.
Or maybe not... since I have no ride, hah. Good luck to me.
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[27 Jun 2007|03:22pm] |
I can't stop listening to "The Used" and the "Kottonmouth Kings"
I'MMMMM MELTINGGGG IN YOUR EYESSSSSSSS LIKE MY FIRSTTTTTTTT TIMEEEEEE
THAT IIII CAUGHT FIRE
Sorry. I'm actually listening to The Used right now, and I had to belt a little bit.
I'm probably insane. Anyways. I just feel like updating because I feel like rambling and it's not like anybody reads this anyway.
Let's seeeeeeee- I have to work and I really don't want to. I just want mad dough, so I can have some fucking transportation.
Money is so sweet, I want to buy everything, haha. But it sucks when there is not enough of it.
Shwat elseeeeeeee? I think this David Blaine clip is fucking hilariousssss. WHAT THE EFF?!?! Another thought just rolling around in my brain.
I got my SATs scores back. I don't want to tell them to anyone. I don't know why. I didn't really do bad. I just don't feel like competing. I'm going to take them again too, though. Cuz.. why the hell not?
I still haven't finished a summer book to read. I don't really care.
I want to go swimming.
THE ENDDDDD!
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[25 Jun 2007|09:58pm] |
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I don't know why I'm so fucking sad.
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| You're way too beautiful girrrrl. |
[20 Jun 2007|01:24pm] |
I am so happy that the summer is here. Being this free is just so amazing. I mean, yeah, I have work. But still, you know what I mean. Everything puts me in a good mood. The whole quote "Summertime when the livin is easy" definitely is in place. It's so perfect, and true.
Okay. I have to get ready to go out for a lazy day. I'll be back later for a summer nighttttt ;D
I still miss all my Danburian's though. :(
Don't worry, I'm coming, haha.
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[15 Jun 2007|10:47pm] |
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music |
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rhiana - hate that i love you |
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Okay, I can't get enough of this fucking song.
But, anyways. SUMMER IS FINALLY HERE!!!!! I'm a working animal, though. I am never not busy.
When I'm not working, I'm out. If I have free time, I end up getting called in.
...Shit people are outside to kidnap me, peace!
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[10 Jun 2007|02:39pm] |
I really, really want somebody to just blow me out of the water.
I don't think it's very likely to happen.
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[08 Jun 2007|02:38pm] |
If I don't hang out with the following people soon I think it's quite possible I may go insane.
-Melissa May
-Dan Casaz
-Kenny Sciuto
-Mike Medeiros
-Kristin Hawley
-Kev Deluca
-Bry Flynn
-Kevin/Sean/Brian Wiedl
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[06 Jun 2007|12:42am] |
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Life is funny.
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| i've figured out what i want to say |
[27 May 2007|12:11pm] |
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Wow. Here's a note to every boy who thinks I have a crush on them. First of all, I don't. I have a crush on no one. Especially because you're all so fucking cocky, conceited and can't think twice without consulting your penis. Even if we hooked up, it doesn't mean I want to have your fucking babies. I'm only calling because a) you asked me to, b) I'm bored as hell, c) because I'm impatient so I call until people answer sometimes or d) to see what's up. Nothing longer than a 5 min. convo (tops). If it ends up longer than that- Wow, you've managed to impress me. You actually have a brain. I'm positive you can't keep me impressed for too long, though. Second, third or fourth of all (I seemed to have lost count) you would be blessed by the hands of God if I was interested. But once again, I'm not. No need to flatter yourself, little boy.
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[27 May 2007|12:48am] |
I love having realizations. They're always realizations about how I deserve better, too. I hope that's not a conceited track mind. I view it more as a good self-esteem, and my strive to self-betterment. I see nothing wrong with that.
Things are going good, though. I have a job, which means soon I'll have my own car. Which comes along more independence and responsibility. I'm really lovin' the single, independent life. I think having a boy would be much more difficult. I really flirt too much, I think. I confuse people with what I'm thinking. The truth is, in the boy department I never really know what I'm thinking. I really want to be blown away; impressed so much that I know it's exactly what I want. I want the next person I date to make me want to make me better. I want them to be as smart or smarter. I want them to be a Christian, and I want them to be appealing (to my standards, at least. which is basically nice smile and taller than me). But I don't want them to be tooooo good. I like a lil' bad ;D. Haha. I don't know, there's more. But basically, I know exactly what I want, I just need somebody with all of these attributes. Oh, and they have to be laid-back.
Not that I want to start a relationship right now. I really don't. I just like knowing what I want. If that person comes along though, it works. I guess after 6 months of being single I'm finally in a mode where it would be nice to mean the world to somebody that means the world to you. But then again, that's always nice. Being independent is nice too.
I hate when people mix up my feelings to mean something theyre not. Usually they think I care more than I do. I get that alot. I care about everyone in general. It's just.. I really don't know.
Everything's good.. I've just been thinking alot.
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[22 May 2007|08:04pm] |
I miss back in the day when LJ was hoppin'.
Anyways, today was my first day. Everything seemed pretty simple.
There's nothing that I'm too concerned about.
I got my bottom braces on as well today, and ow ow owwww.
Hopefully they straighten the fuck out.
They're supposed to be off by the end of the summer.
So hopefully.
I'm really content with everything right now so I guess that's allll =]
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